


Live and Let Die

by emynn



Series: Britin Song Drabble Challenge [11]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emynn/pseuds/emynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin says goodbye to his father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live and Let Die

**Author's Note:**

> Another in the Britin Song Drabble Challenge, this one inspired by [21 Guns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1RKr4pWOqs) from the cast of Green Day's _American Idiot._

Justin stared at the tombstone at his feet. Brian wasn’t touching him, wasn’t saying anything, but Justin was acutely aware that he was standing just a hair’s width behind him, ready and waiting for… what, exactly?

He wasn’t going to fucking cry. He wasn’t going to scream. He didn’t give a shit about Craig Taylor. He didn’t when he was alive, and he sure as hell didn’t when he was dead and buried six feet under.

So why couldn’t he look away? 

“I still hate him,” Justin finally said. “I’m not going to stop hating him just because he’s dead.”

“Nobody said you should,” Brian said quietly.

“A fucking heart attack,” Justin muttered. “How appropriate, given he never used it when he was alive.”

Brian didn’t say anything.

Justin wanted to ask him how he’d handled his father’s death. He knew Brian had turned to Michael, which made sense. Michael knew Jack Kinney. He could help Brian cope, to handle the complex emotions that came with losing the man who gave you half your DNA and none of his love. And yet, even after everything Justin and Brian had shared together, Justin still couldn’t quite bring himself to ask Brian about that time. 

“I hate him for hating me,” Justin finally said. “I hate him for kicking me out, for nearly killing you. I hate him for never visiting me when I got my head bashed in, for probably thinking I deserved it. I hate him for not thinking I was worth shit because I was a queer who went to art school. I hate him for blaming his divorce on me, for having me arrested. I hate him for loving Molly and giving her everything while he could barely even acknowledge I was his son.”

Brian gently placed his hand on Justin’s shoulder.

“I hate him for never figuring it the fuck out,” Justin continued. “I hate him for never having the balls to talk to me or to beg for my forgiveness. I hate him for fucking  _leaving, the goddamn **coward!** ”_

Brian squeezed Justin’s shoulder, and Justin spun around, grabbed him tight, and buried his head in the curve of Brian’s neck. Brian held him through his sobs, stroking his hair and rubbing his back, whispering soothing words that Justin couldn’t quite make out. 

Eventually, the tears stopped, but Justin still stood there, shaking, enveloped in Brian’s protective embrace.

“It doesn’t go away,” Brian said quietly. “All those feelings. You’ll always hate him for not being there.”

“So what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Justin whispered.

“Live,” Brian said. “Just throw your arms up into the sky, and shout ‘fuck you, Dad. I’m still here.'”

Despite everything, Justin laughed. It was a small one, but a laugh nonetheless. “I don’t think I can raise my arms up just yet.”

“That’s okay,” Brian said. He loosened his hold on Justin, then wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist. “You’ll get there.”

Together, they walked out of the cemetery, leaving Craig Taylor behind them. 


End file.
